Aesthetics

by Alexandra Lillian

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1.
03:37
2.
03:38
3.
04:06
4.
03:34
5.
03:53

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released September 17, 2019

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Alexandra Lillian Boston, Massachusetts

Country pop/rock artist originally from San Francisco.

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Track Name: Once a Babe
There are girls who you call “babes”
I recall I used to be one
Why don’t you tell me again?
Oh, right. Those days are done

Why do I try so much?
That attention is long in the dust
While I care that we are still friends
I think an ego boost is a must

When I look in those green eyes
Sometimes I think you feel it still
What will make you tell me again?
I have things for which you’d kill

Even in my tight black dress
And my glasses for aesthetics
All I hear now is my name
Did you forget I was once a babe?

We may not be the perfect two
But in some way, I still want you
Days of those suggestive looks
Are long gone, but still in my books

I wanna hear you say “baby girl”
Even though it’s my daddy’s word
Last I heard it was a few drinks in
I hope you never thought that a sin

Even in my tight black dress
And my glasses for aesthetics
All I hear now is my name
Did you forget I was once a babe?

Don’t understand, I’m still the same
As when you met me, nothing has changed
What happened to “I love your curves”?
Now it seems like I get on your nerves

How many “babes” are there?
Let’s just say you have your share
I think I took it to heart ‘cause
You hit me hard as a dart

Even in my tight black dress
And my glasses for aesthetics
All I hear now is my name
Did you forget I was once a babe?

'Cause to you I was once a babe
Track Name: Arizona Boy
Desert sun hits your eyes
Like the way you hit mine
Those green eyes, they said something
Not what the future would bring

Never clear what you saw me as
On an app, the motives are just
So damn astonishing
But it’s never that promising

What did I expect?
I never thought I’d fall
But after months
You got me wanting all

Tell me, Arizona Boy
Why do I act so fucking coy?
‘Cause you make my head spin
I fight thoughts, but I never win

I’m aware that we aren’t perfect
In zero way is that a defect
Don’t know what the hell I see
All I know is your drumming gets me

When I see you tap your sticks
My thoughts begin to mix
You look so slick and stealth
Success, you make me melt

Friend zones are tough
But part of it was me
I fear the heartbreak
Almost dropped to my knees

Tell me, Arizona Boy
Why do I act so fucking coy?
‘Cause you make my head spin
I fight thoughts, but I never win

When you walked through my door
After weeks of speaking by phone
I only wanted more and more
Things changed in ways unknown

Tell me, Arizona Boy
Why do I act so fucking coy?
‘Cause you make my head spin
I fight thoughts, but I never win

Ooh, ooh

Whoa, whoa
That Arizona Boy
Track Name: Smoke Show
What’s it I have he says he wants so bad?
I met him once and now he’s going mad
Jersey boy don’t know me far beneath or beyond
My hazel-eyed stare or my glossy red lips

“How did I get her? How’d she look my way?”
He asked himself too often by day
Said it to me and I threw my head back ‘cause
People like this know just what they lack

I asked why he’s so sweet and he said
I have what he wants, so his effort’s extreme
New Jersey to Boston just to see me
He’d drive for miles despite uncertainties

Not made of fire, not out of his league
Excessive compliments just make me fatigued
Here’s a new one, never heard before
He said, “Damn. Baby, you are such a smoke show”

He said his hands would stay around my waist
A man looked at me, he’d break out the mace
And here’s the catch, he said this on the first date
And when I was 16, I was major jailbait

Neither a knight nor a prince with a sword
He would swoon when I strummed a guitar chord
Didn’t know what to do when he gazed
Those blue eyes said he was in a daze

Whenever he called he said “hey gorgeous”
I turned red and that was his goal
But what else was on that blonde boy’s mind?
Either way, my ego took absolutely no toll

Not made of fire, not out of his league
Excessive compliments just make me fatigued
Here’s a new one, never heard before
He said, “Damn. Baby, you are such a smoke show”

Before we met, he willingly chased
Said I’m a rocket, a sniper, and babe
They’re all synonymous with “she’s so hot”
My vocabulary’s heightened, and that’s all that I got

One thing I’ll give him, he meant no harm
I spoke like a bitch, he wasn’t alarmed
My confrontation was quite damn intense
He didn’t act like it was at his expense

But I’m

Not made of fire, not out of his league
Excessive compliments just make me fatigued
Here’s a new one, never heard before
He said, “Damn. Baby, you are such a smoke show”

“Yeah, you are such a smoke show,”
Oh, whoa, whoa

“It’s like you set the whole room on fire”
“I can’t touch you ‘cause my hand will burn”

Mmm, whoa, whoa

“Yeah, you are such a smoke show”
Track Name: Adhesive
Can’t send one, it must be two
Sometimes three if you just can’t chill
Phone goes off, I roll my eyes
'Cause you have too much time to kill

When we first met, I saw that smile
Then my fears began to compile
It only made me lean away
And all else is needless to say

Single for years? I wonder why
Everyone’s different, but you ain’t a lie
You were far too overly fond
An unrealistic glue-like bond

If two dates in you say you’re smitten
You will not find any commitment
Number of “yes’” you find decreasing ‘cause
Just like glue, you’re too adhesive

On date one, flags were red
Hope you knew you weren’t coming to bed
On date two, they lit like neon
And the last thing you’d ever do is lead me on

And for what good reason did you want my picture?
Did you think we’d be a “good mixture?”
Or maybe you thought I was set for stardom
Oh, your feelings, you better guard ‘em

Don’t send novels post rejection
Not convinced you’re near perfection
Don’t change words after they’ve been said
Responses to you are what I dread

If two dates in you say you’re smitten
You will not find any commitment
Number of “yes’” you find decreasing ‘cause
Just like glue, you’re too adhesive

I tried hard to sympathize
Rejection is hard to synthesize
Just know I hope you’ll figure this out
It’s too hard to live with endless self doubts

Your novel text said you keep failing
Two dates, count ‘em, the deal is done
Number of “yes’” you want an increase in
Just don’t be overly fucking adhesive
Track Name: She Won
Didn’t know if you weren’t happy or what you saw in me
Your attraction to me was insanely game-changing
One week she’s gone, we spent a night together
Powerful sparks, they soon ignited between

Couldn’t resist those bold advances you made
Started with just one harmless kiss on the cheek
Then you slowly snaked your arms around my waist
My God, if she’d seen, she would’ve fucking freaked

If you weren’t curious, I wouldn’t have caved
But you’re not the only one to blame
I read your actions like I would a book
You lured me in like bait on a fish hook

You gave me signs that screamed “get me out”
Thought I’d be the one to make you leave her
I was convinced that the deal was done
But she had you first, so I guess she won

You never spoke of her, even though I knew
You went the mile to chill for an hour or two
That’s why it’s off you disappeared, no words
All of a sudden, my mind was blurred

When I pondered everything in further depth
I recall she gave me a glare like death
This was the aftermath of you and I
Is your silence some form of saying goodbye?

Don’t write this off as a drunk mistake
It was obvious your feelings weren’t fake
You looked at me with your piercing brown eyes
And then, soon enough, those feelings were mine

You gave me signs that screamed “get me out”
Thought I’d be the one to make you leave her
I was convinced that the deal was done
But she had you first, so I guess she won

At the very least, you said nothing would change
It’d stay between us, one promise we made
You escaped her twice, I thought that’d continue
And I truly hope that my trust was in you

All my friends say “kick him to the curb”
But I haven’t taken any single words
To be honest, I truly miss what happened
I’d still give you time, but it’d be a bad habit

I don’t know if you’re gone for good
But if I told you this, you sure as hell would
I can’t wait around for that day to come
Because I need to accept the fact that she won

She won
Oh, she won, she won

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